For the first time in my life, I was called a rebel. It was a mumbled, under your breath, didn’t think the young kids could still hear you kinda name calling. Me? A rebel? Listen here Karen, I think you must have me confused with somebody else, because I have never been anything close to a so called “rebel” in my whole 25 years of existence. I wouldn’t even have considered myself a hardass when I wore my basketball hoodie everyday in 8th grade to get around those god awful polo shirts we were required to wear in Catholic school. What prompted this assumption you may ask? Well, it was the simple fact that my fiancé and I were not wearing our suggested protective face masks while exiting the home improvement store. Scandalous, I know. I am really getting out of control with my old age, but listen here bitch, I couldn’t breath with that cloth suffocating my insides.
Moving forward, with my entire summer vacation ahead of me, I preceded to think to myself of all the other acts of rebellion I could try out over the next 3 months. All the bullshit I should’ve tried during my teenage years, but now, who’s going to yell at me? This will be great! *Eats three soft pretzel sticks with cheese for lunch* what a great start. Rebels don’t eat their vegetables!
If you can predict, clearly it all went down hill from here. Not wiping up spills on the counter tops, leaving clumps of hair art on the wall in the shower, bra-less for days. I should’ve chose this life a long time ago! Oh, but it didn’t stop here. This was only the beginning. On Tuesday night, I skipped a shower, had not just one, but 3 glasses of wine and stayed up until a ridiculous 11 PM. My God who was going to stop me? Clearly I couldn’t keep this up forever. What if I were to go to far and end up on the FBI’s most wanted list for murdering my livelihood?
If any of my readers know me in the slightest, rebel is no where near my description box. I made a blog about my geriatric tendencies, and work with special needs children for a living for goodness sake. Being called a rebel will certainly be crossed off my bucket list Karen, and I definitely won’t be wearing a bra anytime soon, but I guess taking away from this rambling nonsense, don’t be like Karen. Make sure before you call strangers un-relatable names, that they’re at least 6 feet away from you.